In 2015, Centipede Press released Ann VanderMeer’s “The Bestiary”, for which I wrote an entry. One of the things I enjoyed about this project was creating a small biography of myself as a strange creature. Today, I thought I would ask the kids to write their own strange biography. It was a fun exercise and the kids have given me their permission to post their work here. I hope those who read it will enjoy it too.
The Loenen is a creature that likes to sit behind people’s computers and play videogames. It is very nerdy and ita lso likes model building.
The Loenen is very kind and isn’t aggresive at all; it is naieve which makes it an easy target for hunters. Because of that, it is an endangered species.
It believes that no one would ever do anything bad and always sees the good in people.
The Loenen is very lazy; but it can also be very hyperactive.
Most of the time this creature just stays in other people’s homes and eats their food. It uses technology to do fun things like gaming.
During childhood and adolescence, the Loenen latches onto the back of it’s parents.
However, the Loenen is known to leave the family group earlier than other creatures. Because of it’s adventurous behaviour, it doesn’t like to stay in the same space for long unless if it has a child or something else.
At death it likes to return to it’s home to die there and to become one with the earth from which he came.
-by Samuel Hendrik Loenen, youngest son-
An uncommon, and rarely seen inhabitant of the sprawling suburban ecosystem of Gouda. Segnis Joellum mainly subsists on a diet of information. Segnis Joellum specimen are frequently observed near a computer. This is so that it may access the World Wide Web in search of what it considers “interesting information.” This information usually falls in the categories of aerospace, history and random trivia.
Segnis Joellum usually stores this information, so that it may use this in the defense of its territory. This is done by starting conversations with invading creatures. These conversations will usually start out normal, but when the Segnis Joellum sees its chance. It will try to shift the conversation to one of the many pieces of random information which it may have accrued that day. This will usually result in the opposing creature dying of boredom.
-by Joel Jan Loenen, eldest son-
(The Loenen and Segnis Joellum at work.)