You can also listen to this blogpost.

My mother passed away on the 27th of May 2026. Just six months short of turning 89. Because of my own personal circumstances, I won’t be going home for the funeral, but there is a livestream and distance is lessened by the daily calls and check-ins with my siblings and other close family members. We are doing what we can to lighten the load from where we are. The past couple of days have been filled with collecting and sifting through photographs and video footage from the life of my mother. It’s become a very Filipino thing to commemorate our loved ones in this way. I rather prefer to think of this moment as a chance to celebrate her life.

When she was 46 years old, my mom was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. It had spread to her bones and even with treatment the best they could give her was a year. So, 42 years is an amazing bonus and a testament to the fact that nobody can really say how long or how short life will be. My mother didn’t have any treatment after she heard the prognosis. Chemotherapy was still in its early stages, taxing on the body and taxing on finances and it wouldn’t change anything at all.

So, my brave mother, decided she would simply pray and ask God for a miracle. Miracles aren’t scientifically proven cures. They belong in the realm of “this is something we cannot explain” or “It is a mystery, but also there is still a lot about the body that we don’t know”.

My Mom lived to be 88 years old. She got to see all of her grandchildren and in her final years, she stayed with my youngest brother. Perhaps it was the joy of being with those little girls, surrounded by the mountains she loved, surrounded by beloved faces that extended her life.

After my father’s passing, she had a heart attack. It happened during one of our visits. We were on the way back from a week at Villa Escudero (a beautiful retreat away from the busyness of Manila). We were stuck in traffic when she started to fall away. My aunt who was in the van with us, monitored her pulse, pressing my mother to cough and not to give in to the urge to fall asleep. We drove against the traffic to the nearest hospital where she was rushed to emergency care.

After that, we pressed her to move in with our youngest brother and his family. His daughters were lively and loving and young and I remembered reading somewhere that grandparents tend to gain fresh energy from being around children and young people. My mother enjoyed life in the province because there she could talk and mingle with friends from way back when. It was much better than Manila where the elderly were confined to their homes because of the government’s policy which hoped to protect the elderly from contracting covid.

Back in 2023, we visited my mother when I was in between treatments. My doctor said: you should go now.

My mother had had a bad fall and we arrived at her bedside, she looked quite gray. She was in pain and I worried that I had gone home just to see her before she died.

And yet, a day after my arrival, she perked up. Two days later, we woke to the sound of her playing the piano.

She regained her strength. She taught her granddaughters piano. But it seemed like she was simply waiting.

My mother’s waiting is over. She has gone to that place beyond the veil where we cannot follow. I think of her smiling and laughing restored to her youthful self, singing and running along beside my father and my sister. Some people say there is nothing after we close our eyes in death. But I believe that the spirit which is our true essence continues on. We travel onward, changed. No longer bound to this earth by the body of flesh. My mother is there in the garden of the Lord who she loved so much.

In early May, I made a raw notation of a melody that came to me. I had been preparing and looking forward to working on the novel which I had to put aside for a while as I focused on various projects and this melody appeared in my mind. I sat down at the piano and started playing, writing down the notes on music paper, thinking to myself: I’ll clean this up later when I have more time. I’m sharing the raw recording of this musical lament for those who wish to hear it.

May those who grieve be comforted. Blessings and peace to you who read this and maraming salamat for dropping by.